Is this more
than a phase?
Many hard stretches ease with time and a steady plan. Some need a professional’s help. Here’s what to look for, who to talk to first, and what to bring.
Look at the pattern, not one bad day.
One hard evening rarely tells you much. What matters is how a behavior changes over time: how often it happens, how long it has gone on, and how much it gets in the way of home, school, sleep or friendships.
Look beyond home, too. Teachers, caregivers and coaches may see things you don’t.
Signs it’s time to talk to a professional.
- It has gone on for a few weeks or longer, or keeps coming back.
- It’s getting worse, or it’s very different from how your child usually is.
- It gets in the way of school, sleep, eating, friendships or family life.
- It’s more intense than you can safely manage at home.
- You’re still worried after a steady plan has had a few weeks to work.
If your child loses skills they had, such as words they used or toileting, contact their doctor promptly. You don’t need to be sure, and your child doesn’t need a diagnosis, before you ask for an assessment.
Who to talk to first.
- Your child’s pediatrician or family doctorOften the best first call. They can check for health causes, help you decide whether an assessment would help, and refer you to a mental health professional.
- Your child’s schoolA teacher or school counselor can tell you how things look at school. School support can help, but it doesn’t replace clinical care when your child needs it.
- A child mental health professionalPsychologists, psychiatrists, counselors and clinical social workers can assess and treat children. Who does what, and the credentials they need, vary by state.
What to bring.
A few notes help more than a long story. Write down what happens, when and how often, what came before it, and what you’ve tried, with how your child responded. Add what teachers or other caregivers have noticed.
In ProParenting, the Behavior Tracker keeps these notes, and you can share them with your child’s doctor or therapist.
Guides for getting help.
From finding the right professional to waiting for care and a first appointment. The first is free to read now; the others open in ProParenting.
- Finding the right kind of mental health professional. Opens in ProParenting.
- When your child has panic attacks. Opens in ProParenting.
- Supporting your child after a frightening or traumatic event. Opens in ProParenting.
- When you are worried about your teen’s alcohol or drug use. Opens in ProParenting.
- Supporting your child after psychiatric emergency care. Opens in ProParenting.
- When you are worried your child may hurt themselves. Opens in ProParenting.
- When treatment does not seem to be helping. Opens in ProParenting.
- When your child resists therapy or another treatment. Opens in ProParenting.
- Preparing your child for a first mental health appointment. Opens in ProParenting.
- What to do while your child is waiting for care. Opens in ProParenting.
Join as a
founding family.
Join the waitlist and we’ll email you when ProParenting opens to new families.
Founding families: Usually $119, now $79 a year, locked for life. Open to the first 300 families from the waitlist. See pricing